You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
