I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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