Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
