I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
