I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
