Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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