bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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