i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
