They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
