In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
