I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
