Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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