Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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