Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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