This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
