Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
