what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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