Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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