im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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