This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
