maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
