I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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