dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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