don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
