My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
