This dress was meant to end up on your floor
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
