if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
