There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
