What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
