By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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