just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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