The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
