These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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