I am full of burrito and curiosity
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
it's great music for shaving your balls
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
