i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize