and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
