what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
