Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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