The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize