I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
