I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
