There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
