we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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