He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i think my mom watched the whole time
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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