Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
