Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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