I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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