We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
