I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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