I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
