You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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