She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
