No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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