I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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