Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
