she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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