i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
