I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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