Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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