i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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