worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
