If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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