There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
