I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Randomize
