We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
