Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
