Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
its not stalking. its research.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
