I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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