come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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