According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
